ENTRIES
PROFILE
LINKS
TAGBOARD
MISCELLANEOUS
CREDITS
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Omg omg omg!!! School's starting tml and thats like less than 24 hrs!! (14 hrs and 26 minutes to be exact =P) Ive been waiting for this ever since i was fourteen, at the Laselle orientation itself - I could juz feel it.. Whoa.. Trust my gut feeling.. =DTml's gonna be a long day.. I gotta be in school by 10am and itll last until 4 in the afternoon.. Juz hope we dont end up doing nothing in the auditorium and best of all, i hope it's air conditioned.. WahHaa.. Hmm.. It's really so different from the first day of secondary school coz instead of wearing a simple set of uniform, ive got no clue what to wear tml.. Gonna wake up extra early to do little cat walks in my room to decide.. haha..Spent most of my day reading a novel i borrowed from the library.. It has been a long time since i laid my hands on any book or even actually reading it.. I realised one thing though - Time flies really slow when youre reading.. Oh well.. Im really beat.. Am gonna sleep early today to avoid "over-sleeping"(is there such a word even?).. Rite now, am juz counting down the hours until i step into Laselle.. *dreams* Hope it doesnt let me down.. Booo.. 7:25 PM
Monday, June 27, 2005
I liked him better before he took the puff.. 12:32 PM
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Omg i'm desperate!! Im like so super duper uber bored now!! Spent the whole week rotting at home with nothing to do except watching the stupid tv and sleeping and sleeping an sleeping!! Gosh i feel like a friggin couch potato - a fantasizing-about-getting-arm-muscles couch potato.. NoOooOooooOooo!!!I cannot be a couch potato!! I cannot afford having a bulging tummy like my dad's.. Omg that's such a turn off!! Or.. I cant have arm muscles that sag overtime coza lack of exercise! I can juz imagine how disgusting itll be.. Then i wont be able to sun tan anymore coz id look so horrible in a bikini!! NooooOoOoooOoo!!Wait.. What am i thinking? Miss Eva Khairon what's the problem with you?? Think i just need to get some fresh air.. Maybe get outta the house for a little while to breathe in the morning dew.. But can like, someone ask me out?? Im rotting in this heated tiny-yet-empty-box of a home.. It's 8 days until school opens and im not a bit happy with myself.. Where's the laughter and the smiles?? I have got to work out work out work out! Show those gals that they arent suppose to mess with me.. I so seriously needa get to the gym.. Cant always lift 6lbs of weights all the time.. I gotta do something more challenging like.. Let's see.. Those bigger weights? hAaa.. Just hope that my back doesnt break from all the weight lifting..WeEeeeeeee! =D 1:57 PM
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
i am a freako.
Somehow i like keeping to myself.. Maybe i should do more of that.. What would people think of me if i shun from them? I could juz imagine.. "Hey Leon, your gf's such a freak.. Does she even know how to talk?" Somehow, i juz feel so useless.. I cant do anything right, and its like the world's against me.. Leon's mum is against me.. How am i gonna face her.. His birthday's this sunday, and im expected at his bbq.. What if she's there? I gez id juz be at a spot watching the others enjoyinging themselves.. All i can do is juz express myself in my music.. Where's reality to me?Dad's always nagging.. Telling me stupid things that irritates me to the core.. They dont even know what's going on inside of me, how im feeling and all.. Everyone's telling me.. You should have done this, you should have done that.. Or, Why are you like that? Oh right.. It is my fault those things happened.. What can i do about them? It's juz a waste.. Every sunday, sitting alone behind the drumset during sermon, or sitting on top of the built-in table during dance practice all by myself, looking at the rest warm up.. It's like no one knows that hidden inside of me, lies something much more than a smiling face.. I dont wanna go around church, walking past familiar faces, and not even saying hi, or even smile at each other.. I am so useless.. whoa..It feels so much better letting it all out.. 5:18 PM
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Oooo!! I feel so sexy now.. It was so much fun sun tanning under the scorching sun.. It's like my new hobby now, watching my skin turn golden brown while i listen to my mp3 player.. Just that..It wasnt really my day then, since it was the second day of my period.. Shibz.. Totally ruined my sun tanning mood, but i still sun tanned anywayz.. Paid the price in the end after my stupid period decided to stain my perfectly white bikini bottom, but it didnt stop this tanning freak from escaping the sun.. I gez the sun was a bit too much coz i felt like fainting after the whole thing.. It was like a mix of cramps and giddiness in the head.. The funny thing was, i almost got saved by a lifeguard - ALMOST! Thanks Claudia, Crystal and the rest of ya for buying the Panadol for me.. Felt so much better after that.. *Phew*The past few days have been havoc for me.. Am still trying to get over the whole "breaking up" ordeal.. Wont talk about it much..Been up since 5.30am in the morning today.. Played for English service 2 and 3, and as if it wasnt tiring enough, i played for JYM too.. It is kinda tough coz i lose my energy really quick, but drumming is like my best friend and i love it.. Had dance practice after that and im glad coz i finally finally mastered my steps!! Yea!! Sonic Fest 2005 here i come!!Woohooo!! 9:45 PM
Monday, June 13, 2005
Who would have thought id be willing to let go a year of sacrifices, love, experiences, trials and turbulations.. Maybe it feels like, a load off my chest.. No more lies, no more secrets - i no longer need to hold on.. Every night when i stare up at the blank ceiling, ready to fall asleep in total darkness, i see his face smiling at me, mouthing the words i love you.. I see those teary eyes begging me not to leave.. I was like.. Please stop pshycho-ing me larz.. It's hard,and it hurt to let go but i certainly cannot get hurt by him any longer..*Chants*It's over.It's over.It's over.*Chants*Let's juz hope the sun keeps me smiling tml! Going to sentosa with church peeps to sun tan.. Im gonna get tanned and look sexier! Woohhoo! It's payback time losers! hEh.. 9:59 PM
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
I told you i was fine, that it didnt bother me.. The prejudice your mum has against me, i waited and expected it to come..
But ever since that day happened, i gez it did bother me.. It was the first time your mum ever talked to me that way and it was scary.. I felt like as if i was in the set of a chinese television drama.. Your mum so called "chasing" me outta the house, you shouting at her while i stood outside the door, listening to every word, trying hard to prevent my tears from reaching the floor of your doorstep.. And then later, you came outta the house, banged your head onto the wall over and over again, your face tear streaked..
You do not know how much that has affected me..
The big "WHY".. Why does your mum dislike me so much? I gez im kinda used to it.. No parent of the guy i dated liked me.. I was always quiet, didnt know how to open my mouth to start a conversation with any of them.. But they never gave me a chance anyway..
Juz what is the problem with me? Why am i so detestable? So much is happening.. I try to help you with your problems but im just as useless.. I cant do anything, cant solve anything.. So when i tell you that "id be here for you", i gez it meant, ill give u a listening ear..
But i can always turn to Him.. I can ask him to take away all uncertainties and doubts.. Instead of being upset, i must pray for his mum.. 8:46 PM
Friday, June 03, 2005
to eyeline or not to eyeline?
Am so tired.. I juz dont know why im making myself work out.. There's not much of a use since im only training my arms, lifting dumb bells and doing a little bit of stretching, not forgetting crunches.. But it kills time anyway, so why not? Hhaa..Woke up early today, about 9.30am.. Mum woke me up, asked me what i wanted to eat for lunch, and i couldnt get back to sleep again.. Ate dinner with my Godbro last night.. Lost touch with him for over 2 yrs so decided to catch up with things.. Cafe Cartel is so friggin expensive, but its quite a worthy choice since theyve got free bread and water.. lol.. He said i changed physically, from "guai" to the "dark side".. Ok, gotta admit that my dressing's changed, a little more eyeliner perhaps? Ive been wearing them since i was in secondary four so i dont realli notice the diff.. I like who i am though.. Anyway, i gez he was bored after dinner.. We were kinda walking around suntec, looking for a money changer and it was quite a long walk.. Plus, i made him miss this television show he wanted to watch.. uh oh.. =PI hope things change for the better.. A God-centred relationship isnt easy to achieve, but i wished you knew how great things wud be if you let Him into your life.. Things are so complexed right now.. The only person you can trust and turn to is God.. Why did you feel so empty, so much the target for the devil to hit on? That's coz you shut Him out, you enclosed yourself in a box that only the devil could get in.. You hate, you curse, you lie.. Will it really make the pain go away juz by doing all these? The genuine help comes only from Him.. If only you'd listen, free yourself and let things go.. Things wud be so simple, so free, so easy.. Im glad, that youre not leaving anymore.. =D 3:27 PM
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Yet another boring day..Since ive got nothing else to do whatsoever, i decided to blog.. Mum cooked lunch today.. It's ever so rare coz she's always working, but since its the hols, she managed to pick up the effort to cook for the family almost daily.. Now its like, my tummy's never flat! Did my weights.. It's so damn tiring, and it's taking forever for my little muscles to grow.. Exercised for about an hr then took a break.. Phew..Practiced my songwriting in the early afternoon. Finally improved in my singing for that song.. Alot of low keys so its kinda hard to sing.. Created a new tune, but i dun think i remember it.. Dang! Sometimes when im under the blankie, the lights are off and im ready for bed, this little tune starts playing in my head. Im always too lazy to record it down and practice on the guitar since im already almost half asleep, so i play it over and over in my head, hoping that it'll still be in my head the next morning.. But then.. BANG! It's always gone the moment i open my eyes in the morning.. Anyway, practiced my drums on My Chemical Romance's "Helena", "Cemetery Drive" and "Ghost of You".. Improved quite a bit on the songs.. I wanna be a professional drummer!!! I know i can do it! wOohoo! =DI so need a songwriting partner.. I need someone to help me play the guitar coz its so difficult to sing and play.. oh Well..Was supposed to watch madagascar yesterday but dar's little pouch got stolen while he was racing at the arcade.. So instead of getting cosy in the cinema, laughing our heads off, we ran up and down the whole of Jurong Point, searching every dustbin and staircases for it.. I juz feel so dumb, running behind him, following, like a little mouse hunting for its cheese.. Sigh, im so useless..Dar kept cursing that thief and i was too irritated to even listen.. He couldnt leave the place coz his wallet was in that pouch and everything was in that wallet.. Money, identity card, ezlink, neoprints, POSB card.. Well, let it be a lesson learnt.. Dun ever leave ur belongings lying around in the arcade.. It's such a dangerous place.. In the end, i had to call my best friend up, asking her to transfer some money into my account.. (I was friggin broke too.. Besides, i used my remaining $1.30 to buy a japanese pancake! Omg im so dumb..) Thanks gal.. Phew..Sent dar home coz i wanted to spend a little more time with him.. ArR! I am so DUMB!Boo! 3:31 PM
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Omg omg omg!!! School's starting tml and thats like less than 24 hrs!! (14 hrs and 26 minutes to be exact =P) Ive been waiting for this ever since i was fourteen, at the Laselle orientation itself - I could juz feel it.. Whoa.. Trust my gut feeling.. =DTml's gonna be a long day.. I gotta be in school by 10am and itll last until 4 in the afternoon.. Juz hope we dont end up doing nothing in the auditorium and best of all, i hope it's air conditioned.. WahHaa.. Hmm.. It's really so different from the first day of secondary school coz instead of wearing a simple set of uniform, ive got no clue what to wear tml.. Gonna wake up extra early to do little cat walks in my room to decide.. haha..Spent most of my day reading a novel i borrowed from the library.. It has been a long time since i laid my hands on any book or even actually reading it.. I realised one thing though - Time flies really slow when youre reading.. Oh well.. Im really beat.. Am gonna sleep early today to avoid "over-sleeping"(is there such a word even?).. Rite now, am juz counting down the hours until i step into Laselle.. *dreams* Hope it doesnt let me down.. Booo..
Monday, June 27, 2005
I liked him better before he took the puff..
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Omg i'm desperate!! Im like so super duper uber bored now!! Spent the whole week rotting at home with nothing to do except watching the stupid tv and sleeping and sleeping an sleeping!! Gosh i feel like a friggin couch potato - a fantasizing-about-getting-arm-muscles couch potato.. NoOooOooooOooo!!!I cannot be a couch potato!! I cannot afford having a bulging tummy like my dad's.. Omg that's such a turn off!! Or.. I cant have arm muscles that sag overtime coza lack of exercise! I can juz imagine how disgusting itll be.. Then i wont be able to sun tan anymore coz id look so horrible in a bikini!! NooooOoOoooOoo!!Wait.. What am i thinking? Miss Eva Khairon what's the problem with you?? Think i just need to get some fresh air.. Maybe get outta the house for a little while to breathe in the morning dew.. But can like, someone ask me out?? Im rotting in this heated tiny-yet-empty-box of a home.. It's 8 days until school opens and im not a bit happy with myself.. Where's the laughter and the smiles?? I have got to work out work out work out! Show those gals that they arent suppose to mess with me.. I so seriously needa get to the gym.. Cant always lift 6lbs of weights all the time.. I gotta do something more challenging like.. Let's see.. Those bigger weights? hAaa.. Just hope that my back doesnt break from all the weight lifting..WeEeeeeeee! =D
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
i am a freako. Somehow i like keeping to myself.. Maybe i should do more of that.. What would people think of me if i shun from them? I could juz imagine.. "Hey Leon, your gf's such a freak.. Does she even know how to talk?" Somehow, i juz feel so useless.. I cant do anything right, and its like the world's against me.. Leon's mum is against me.. How am i gonna face her.. His birthday's this sunday, and im expected at his bbq.. What if she's there? I gez id juz be at a spot watching the others enjoyinging themselves.. All i can do is juz express myself in my music.. Where's reality to me?Dad's always nagging.. Telling me stupid things that irritates me to the core.. They dont even know what's going on inside of me, how im feeling and all.. Everyone's telling me.. You should have done this, you should have done that.. Or, Why are you like that? Oh right.. It is my fault those things happened.. What can i do about them? It's juz a waste.. Every sunday, sitting alone behind the drumset during sermon, or sitting on top of the built-in table during dance practice all by myself, looking at the rest warm up.. It's like no one knows that hidden inside of me, lies something much more than a smiling face.. I dont wanna go around church, walking past familiar faces, and not even saying hi, or even smile at each other.. I am so useless.. whoa..It feels so much better letting it all out..
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Oooo!! I feel so sexy now.. It was so much fun sun tanning under the scorching sun.. It's like my new hobby now, watching my skin turn golden brown while i listen to my mp3 player.. Just that..It wasnt really my day then, since it was the second day of my period.. Shibz.. Totally ruined my sun tanning mood, but i still sun tanned anywayz.. Paid the price in the end after my stupid period decided to stain my perfectly white bikini bottom, but it didnt stop this tanning freak from escaping the sun.. I gez the sun was a bit too much coz i felt like fainting after the whole thing.. It was like a mix of cramps and giddiness in the head.. The funny thing was, i almost got saved by a lifeguard - ALMOST! Thanks Claudia, Crystal and the rest of ya for buying the Panadol for me.. Felt so much better after that.. *Phew*The past few days have been havoc for me.. Am still trying to get over the whole "breaking up" ordeal.. Wont talk about it much..Been up since 5.30am in the morning today.. Played for English service 2 and 3, and as if it wasnt tiring enough, i played for JYM too.. It is kinda tough coz i lose my energy really quick, but drumming is like my best friend and i love it.. Had dance practice after that and im glad coz i finally finally mastered my steps!! Yea!! Sonic Fest 2005 here i come!!Woohooo!!
Monday, June 13, 2005
Who would have thought id be willing to let go a year of sacrifices, love, experiences, trials and turbulations.. Maybe it feels like, a load off my chest.. No more lies, no more secrets - i no longer need to hold on.. Every night when i stare up at the blank ceiling, ready to fall asleep in total darkness, i see his face smiling at me, mouthing the words i love you.. I see those teary eyes begging me not to leave.. I was like.. Please stop pshycho-ing me larz.. It's hard,and it hurt to let go but i certainly cannot get hurt by him any longer..*Chants*It's over.It's over.It's over.*Chants*Let's juz hope the sun keeps me smiling tml! Going to sentosa with church peeps to sun tan.. Im gonna get tanned and look sexier! Woohhoo! It's payback time losers! hEh..
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
I told you i was fine, that it didnt bother me.. The prejudice your mum has against me, i waited and expected it to come..
But ever since that day happened, i gez it did bother me.. It was the first time your mum ever talked to me that way and it was scary.. I felt like as if i was in the set of a chinese television drama.. Your mum so called "chasing" me outta the house, you shouting at her while i stood outside the door, listening to every word, trying hard to prevent my tears from reaching the floor of your doorstep.. And then later, you came outta the house, banged your head onto the wall over and over again, your face tear streaked..
You do not know how much that has affected me..
The big "WHY".. Why does your mum dislike me so much? I gez im kinda used to it.. No parent of the guy i dated liked me.. I was always quiet, didnt know how to open my mouth to start a conversation with any of them.. But they never gave me a chance anyway..
Juz what is the problem with me? Why am i so detestable? So much is happening.. I try to help you with your problems but im just as useless.. I cant do anything, cant solve anything.. So when i tell you that "id be here for you", i gez it meant, ill give u a listening ear..
But i can always turn to Him.. I can ask him to take away all uncertainties and doubts.. Instead of being upset, i must pray for his mum..
Friday, June 03, 2005
to eyeline or not to eyeline? Am so tired.. I juz dont know why im making myself work out.. There's not much of a use since im only training my arms, lifting dumb bells and doing a little bit of stretching, not forgetting crunches.. But it kills time anyway, so why not? Hhaa..Woke up early today, about 9.30am.. Mum woke me up, asked me what i wanted to eat for lunch, and i couldnt get back to sleep again.. Ate dinner with my Godbro last night.. Lost touch with him for over 2 yrs so decided to catch up with things.. Cafe Cartel is so friggin expensive, but its quite a worthy choice since theyve got free bread and water.. lol.. He said i changed physically, from "guai" to the "dark side".. Ok, gotta admit that my dressing's changed, a little more eyeliner perhaps? Ive been wearing them since i was in secondary four so i dont realli notice the diff.. I like who i am though.. Anyway, i gez he was bored after dinner.. We were kinda walking around suntec, looking for a money changer and it was quite a long walk.. Plus, i made him miss this television show he wanted to watch.. uh oh.. =PI hope things change for the better.. A God-centred relationship isnt easy to achieve, but i wished you knew how great things wud be if you let Him into your life.. Things are so complexed right now.. The only person you can trust and turn to is God.. Why did you feel so empty, so much the target for the devil to hit on? That's coz you shut Him out, you enclosed yourself in a box that only the devil could get in.. You hate, you curse, you lie.. Will it really make the pain go away juz by doing all these? The genuine help comes only from Him.. If only you'd listen, free yourself and let things go.. Things wud be so simple, so free, so easy.. Im glad, that youre not leaving anymore.. =D
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Yet another boring day..Since ive got nothing else to do whatsoever, i decided to blog.. Mum cooked lunch today.. It's ever so rare coz she's always working, but since its the hols, she managed to pick up the effort to cook for the family almost daily.. Now its like, my tummy's never flat! Did my weights.. It's so damn tiring, and it's taking forever for my little muscles to grow.. Exercised for about an hr then took a break.. Phew..Practiced my songwriting in the early afternoon. Finally improved in my singing for that song.. Alot of low keys so its kinda hard to sing.. Created a new tune, but i dun think i remember it.. Dang! Sometimes when im under the blankie, the lights are off and im ready for bed, this little tune starts playing in my head. Im always too lazy to record it down and practice on the guitar since im already almost half asleep, so i play it over and over in my head, hoping that it'll still be in my head the next morning.. But then.. BANG! It's always gone the moment i open my eyes in the morning.. Anyway, practiced my drums on My Chemical Romance's "Helena", "Cemetery Drive" and "Ghost of You".. Improved quite a bit on the songs.. I wanna be a professional drummer!!! I know i can do it! wOohoo! =DI so need a songwriting partner.. I need someone to help me play the guitar coz its so difficult to sing and play.. oh Well..Was supposed to watch madagascar yesterday but dar's little pouch got stolen while he was racing at the arcade.. So instead of getting cosy in the cinema, laughing our heads off, we ran up and down the whole of Jurong Point, searching every dustbin and staircases for it.. I juz feel so dumb, running behind him, following, like a little mouse hunting for its cheese.. Sigh, im so useless..Dar kept cursing that thief and i was too irritated to even listen.. He couldnt leave the place coz his wallet was in that pouch and everything was in that wallet.. Money, identity card, ezlink, neoprints, POSB card.. Well, let it be a lesson learnt.. Dun ever leave ur belongings lying around in the arcade.. It's such a dangerous place.. In the end, i had to call my best friend up, asking her to transfer some money into my account.. (I was friggin broke too.. Besides, i used my remaining $1.30 to buy a japanese pancake! Omg im so dumb..) Thanks gal.. Phew..Sent dar home coz i wanted to spend a little more time with him.. ArR! I am so DUMB!Boo!
Reach my prismic soul.
The Girl
Eva Marie
aka Black Samara.
Hatefully Twenty-one.
Musician
Drummer
Vocalist
Writer
Giggist
Poet.
Loves
Mozerella cheese
Mee sua
Meiji plain crackers.
Music
Screamm
Guitars
Drumming
Singing
Rocking out.
Chilling at Starbucks/Spinelli
Goofing around.
Black eyes.
Black nails.
Black heart.
Hates
Cucumbers
Dog food.
Posers
heart breakers.
YOU.
Unconditional Desires.
My own Orange County Drumset.
To get my diploma in music next year.
Learn double pedals.
Get Married.
Get my future parents in laws to like me.
The endless connections.
Mix the words up.
You have my thanks.
Blogskin created by Eclair-x.
Base codings and inspiration courtesy of Hilary, from her skin take to the sky.
Picture belongs to muszka of Devianart, added, by eclair-x, with thinking bubble and text.
Best viewed in 1026 x 768 pixels screen resolution, Mozilla Firefox.
|